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Do I love my kids? Of course I do. But boy oh boy, do they test my patience and sanity! Sometimes I feel like I have been living in a 10-year parenting haze where sleep deprivation and zero privacy rule my world. I am really not asking for too much here friends. I just want the same common courtesies that daddy gets.
Being a mom is the hardest, yet most rewarding job that I have ever had. These are the thoughts that run through my head of all the things I wish for.
1. A body that doesn’t ache or hurt all of the time!
I would like legs that don’t ache from being on my feet all day. Maybe a back that doesn’t feel broken from picking up a kid 745 times a day.
2. A waist!
I’d like my waist to come back please since it disappeared during pregnancy and is apparently too afraid to return.
3. To have just 1 car ride without hearing a kids movie or song on repeat!
I would like to sit in my car and listen to any music except kid music for once. Let it go already, Elsa!
4. Windows and mirrors that are fingerprint resistant!
For once, I would like to stand in my kitchen and glance out my window and not see fingerprints all over it. Also, I would like to add that they should be food resistant too so that when a baby throws their smashed peas across the room they don’t get all stuck to the window. I swear that my kid can throw better than I can.
5. A phone conversation in peace!
I would like to have a phone conversation for more than 5 minutes without having someone calling my name 15 times from the other room. Is that really too much to ask for?!
6. A gym membership!
I would love a gym membership. While I am at it, I would also love some time to use said gym membership and a body that is not too tired to actually go to the gym. After all, it would be nice to wear those gym clothes that I have to actually go to the gym instead of having them be my everyday wardrobe.
7. A year supply of chocolate!
That I could have all to myself and not have to share with anyone (kids and husband included.) I would also like to not have to hide in the pantry to eat it!
8. Clothes that are not covered in poop, spit up, or baby food stains!
For once, I would like to get dressed in the morning without having to inspect my clothes for foreign stains.
9. To eat a hot dinner!
Just once I don’t want to eat my dinner cold or reheated 4 times.
10. For ketchup to be considered a vegetable!
I really am so darn tired of saying eat your vegetables. Let’s just declare ketchup a vegetable and call it a day already! It would clear my conscience tremendously.
11. For yoga pants to be deemed “business casual!”
This would just make my life soooo much easier.
12. To drink hot coffee!
Is it really too much to ask to drink my coffee hot? And I mean the 1st time, not after it is microwaved 3 times.
13. A 10-minute uninterrupted shower!
I want a 10-minute shower where nobody fights or calls my name. Where I don’t have to choose whether to shave my legs or wash my hair.
14. One picture that everyone is looking and smiling the 1st time and is not blurry!
1st try, nope!
2nd try, no again!
3rd try, I’ll take it I guess!
15. Gift cards to my favorite stores!
I want lots of gift cards for Mother’s Day and Christmas to my favorite stores. Also, I want a day to go shopping without my kids in tow to rip all of the clothes off the racks and kill each other in the carriage. That’s all!
Being a mom is the most rewarding thing in my life. I live and breathe for my kids! But there is nothing wrong with us moms dreaming of alone time to pamper ourselves. I think I might be dreaming until they are 18. It’s a good thing they are so stinkin’ cute!
About the Author:
Lisa is a Lifestyle, Family and Travel Writer who has a love of all things travel, all things food, and all things living life. She gives family travel tips, the inspiration to dream, and the real deal of family life. It is not always roses and daisies, but that’s life! Check her out at foodfamilyandchaos.com.