Until now. Toddler tantrums don’t have to take over.

Use these easy tactics to tame those toddler tantrums for good.

1. Calm yourself first.

It’s nearly impossible to respond from a place of empathy and understanding if you’re upset and frustrated. Take a few long deep breaths before responding to your child especially if you feel yourself getting worked up.

It also helps to think of the bigger picture instead of getting wrapped up in the chaos of the moment. In the long run, the fact that your toddler refuses to put on their shoes won’t matter. If you need help loosening up try doing something silly to make yourself and your child laugh. The key is to find ways to get your emotions under control before helping your child manage theirs.  

2. Validate your toddler’s emotions.

Saying no tells your toddler you’re not hearing what they’re trying to tell you and their protests will only get louder as they try to get through to you. Instead of using the no word, say this instead, “You wanted (fill in the blank with what your child wants).” Use their name in place of “you” if you have to. Show them you’re listening. Match their intensity, so they know you understand how very important this is to them.

It may take a few tries, but eventually, they will realize you’re hearing them and this will validate their emotions.

You may even hear them respond with a “yes” and their cries will lessen. Don’t give up if this doesn’t work the first time. It may take a couple of tries for your words to get through especially in the midst of a full-blown tantrum.

3. Redirect, redirect and redirect!

To help diffuse an emotionally intense situation and calm your little one down sooner try to redirect their attention to a task.

If they’re acting out on a trip to the grocery store, ask them to help pick out a bunch of bananas or if they’re frustrated with a toy, encourage them to try a different one instead.

The logical parts of their brain including reasoning are not fully developed yet, so redirection is a valuable tool to have in your tantrum toolbox.

4. Use simple language.

It’s tempting to what to jump in immediately with a long-winded explanation of why your toddler can’t have or do what they want. Instead, keep it simple with a short statement: “We don’t hit,” or “We don’t throw toys.” Once they’ve calmed down, you can use more details if you like but in the heat of things, your toddler is likely not going to understand anything more than a few short words.

5. Understand where your child is coming from.

As busy parents, it’s easy to think that children should understand everything that’s happening around them but the truth is toddlers are still learning. They truly have no idea about your schedules, commitments or long to-do lists.

Put yourself in their shoes by thinking for a moment what it must feel like to be told what to do and often rushed from here to there. Keep things in perspective by reminding yourself your toddler still has lots of growing up to do.

6. Prevent a tantrum before it happens.  

Toddlers are learning and their brains are growing at astounding rates. They’re also asserting their independence and experimenting with trying to do things on their own. Do a little detective work to see what’s causing their outbursts and try to change things beforehand if you can.

If it’s leaving the house in a rush, give yourself extra time so you can be more patient as they try to buckle themselves into their car seat. Or if you know that tantrums start escalating in the evening try putting your toddler to bed earlier as they may be overtired.

Experiment and see what works and what doesn’t but start from a foundation of understanding.

7. Practice self-care.

Being patient, understanding and calm takes an immense amount of energy. If you’re running on only a few hours of sleep regularly and not making time for exercise or healthy eating it will be nearly impossible to keep a positive perspective and effectively handle your toddler’s outbursts. Take care of yourself by practicing a healthy lifestyle and asking for help when you need it.

Related: 42 Self-Care Ideas For Moms Who Feel Frazzled 

8. Be there for your child.

Every child’s needs are different. Some like to be held while others need some space. Respond to your child based on their unique temperament and needs. Also, remember to make eye contact when you speak to your child and bend down so you’re at their level. These subtle body language shifts support connection and understanding which is often what a toddler needs most during a tantrum.

9. Use time ins, not timeouts.

With time ins parents go with their toddlers to a quiet area to calm down instead of leaving them to figure things out on their own. The time in space can include a few calming activities such as drawing materials, stuffed animals, and books. Once your child is calm, you can then address their behavior and help them process their emotions.

10. Let your child know how much you love them.

During a tantrum, your toddler is experiencing so many big emotions, and this can be scary. Give your little one a hug and let them know you love them so they can feel at ease again.

Tantrums are a normal part of a child’s development and despite what it feels like, toddlers aren’t trying to make your days stressful. They’re just learning how to express themselves so encourage them along the way. With your patience and support, they will learn how to effectively manage their big emotions which is a gift that will last well beyond the toddler years.

About the Author

Rosey Hwang is a mama of two, a writer and a mompreneur. She helps moms simplify and live their wildest dreams at simplybemama.com. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter to discover ways to simply live your best life.  

The post 10 Easy Ways to Tame Toddler Tantrums appeared first on Today Mommy.

The best time to wean your child from the pacifier would be around 12 months (before they are older and become too attached), but this won’t apply to all children. With my little guy, he was closer to two when we weaned him off a pacifier.

It is best to try to control how much your child is using the pacifier in the first place by only giving it to them during naps and bedtime. Around when he turned one we limited him to only having a pacifier at naptime and bedtime. That way when we weaned him off of it it would only be a battle at those times.

Here are ways you can successfully wean your child from a pacifier:

Dispose of the pacifier  

You can inform your child you need to send the pacifier away to a new baby since they are already a big kid. If possible, you can even involve your child in throwing away the pacifier so they will know it is really gone.

Bribery/reward  

This works more with older children but the overall idea is to use a toy or another incentive for your child to give up the pacifier. The reward also has to be something well worth it and special enough for your baby to “give up” the pacifier.

We ended up going with a mix of the above two. My little boy loves the movie Cars and we let him move from his crib into a twin bed with Lightning McQueen pillows and blankets in exchange for throwing away his pacifiers.

He was super excited to get his bed so he took his pacifiers and threw them away. We cheered for him and made him feel like a big kid – graduating from his pacifier and crib to toddler bed.

One thing that also helped a TON when he would ask for his pacifier back and start to whine we showed him recorded a video of him throwing them away. That way when he gave us trouble we could show him HE willingly threw them away.  Usually, that was enough to end the battle.

Cold turkey 

This could work for some children but not all. You take the pacifier away and if your child asks for it, just say that it is all gone. Ideally, the response would be that your child will just learn to accept it. Children aren’t usually easy so expect that they could still cry and make a fuss. Just remember that’s all part of the process and you’ve got this!

Changes to the pacifier 

Some moms swear by cutting off the tip of the pacifier nipple or poking a small hole in it. This will create a different effect or sensation that could be unsatisfying when your child uses it and they might just not want to use it.

To be on the safe side, make sure no small pieces will fall off that could become a choking hazard and keep an eye out at all times. Some moms even dip the pacifiers into lemon or vinegar for example so that the taste will become unappealing for the child.

Books 

There are various books about giving up the pacifier that can help your child with this change and read with them can help make it a more pleasant transition and also prepare them mentally.

By showing them someone their age that gave up their pacifier they are more likely to think they can do it too!

Bonus Tip: Make sure everyone is onboard with the plan – this is to avoid confusion and to set up your child for success. Make sure you inform all adults if your child will only get the pacifier during nap times or bedtimes or if they have been completely weaned off the pacifier.

Don’t forget to inform nannies at the daycare and grandparents and other relatives as well who could be taking care of your child.

Alternative comforts  

The first time you would take away the pacifier could be stressful for your child so you can offer other forms of comfort like a gentle massage, soft singing, rocking and swinging motions, and other comforting things like a soft blanket or snuggly, stuffed toy.

Pacifier fairy 

This is like the tooth fairy wherein instead of getting a tooth, the pacifier fairy will come and get the pacifier and replace it with a special toy or gift.

Big kid day 

You can use this “day” to let your child know they are already big kids and that they can get to do all sorts of fun things they weren’t able to do before. Giving up pacifiers is just one thing they have to do as a big kid. You can also do different activities during this day like going out to play, getting ice cream and cake, and make it a lovely day out.  

Other creative ways:

• Tying the pacifier to the end of a balloon and letting it fly away. (You can tell a story about how another little baby needs the pacifier and would get it)
• Trading the pacifier for a new toy at the store.
• Burying the pacifier with a seed and later they can see that the pacifier “transformed” into a plant.

When trying to wean your child off their pacifier, just remember to always keep it a positive and reinforcing experience for your child and never use negative words and actions.

Prepare yourself that nap times might be shorter and bedtime might be rough for a few days. You may not want to try weaning them from the pacifier if you have other big life changes going on, they are teething or if you are traveling.

The post How To Wean Your Child Off A Pacifier appeared first on Today Mommy.

Finally, when he was just over two he could escape that way too and we knew we would be trying for baby #2 that year so we bit the bullet and transitioned him from his crib to toddler bed.

Whatever reason for making this transition, it is always good to plan ahead to help the whole family through this change. It might be a daunting task to think about, but it can be done!

Here’s how you can have a smooth transition from crib to toddler bed:

Set a bedtime routine 

When setting up a bedtime routine, you have to be consistent. Even when you are switching to a toddler bed, use a similar routine to when your child was still sleeping on the crib.

Keep the bed cozy 

Add some blankets, pillow, favorite stuffed animals, and other things that make your child feel safe in their crib as well as feel more comfortable in order to make the transition process more enjoyable.

We let my little boy pick out his bedding (he chose this awesome Lightning McQueen set) so he would be excited about his new bed. We also let him have his baby blanket that he’d slept with since he was little. That acted as his “comfort” item.

Placing the bed in the same area as the crib 

If possible, try to keep the bed in the same spot so that the child won’t feel the change so much. You can also put the bed in their room earlier than the actual move so that they can see the bed and get used to it. This helps them become even more ready for the change.

We put the toddler bed in his room in the afternoon so he could nap on it and get used to before bedtime. This helped warm him up to it.

Keep it positive 

Talk to your child about the change and make it all about him/her. Be open and enthusiastic about it without overselling it too much.

Read books about sleeping in beds 

This is a simple yet effective way of opening up conversations with your kids especially when it comes to big changes in their lives.

Children are also more receptive when they see others their age doing something. Trying to reassure them that a “big boy” or “big girl” bed is much more effective if they can see another child that uses a big bed or even if they can read a book or watch a video of someone their age.

Make sure they are safe and can’t fall out 

This is obviously an important thing and there are many precautions to take in order to keep your child from accidentally falling out:

• Zippered bedding – this type of bedding keeps your child zipped up to their armpits and prevents them from falling off the bed. The brand “Beddy’s” is super popular and they have tons of styles! 
• You can try taping a pool noodle on each side of the mattress.
• Toddler guard rails

We personally just had the mattress on the floor for a few weeks until he got used to not having the barrier on the edge. That way if he did fall it was only a matter of inches. Once he got used to that we added the box spring and frame.

White noise/nightlights

White noise is great for little kids since it produces a calming effect. We used the Sound Spa as our sound machine ever since he was a baby and it has been a lifesaver. 

You can also get a night light that can project fun lights into the wall which some kids love. Night lights can also help especially if the child is scared of the dark.

Checking in

We were super lucky in that our little boy transitioned from crib to toddler bed pretty easily. But, if your child is having a hard time adjusting and won’t fall asleep set a timer for 5 minutes and then go back in the room and tuck them in again and let them know that you are just in the next room.

Do this for 10 to 15 minutes until they fall asleep. As much as possible, do this quietly without talking too much.

Another option is to sit outside the room after saying goodnight just to make them feel safe and secure that you are just right there but not exactly by their side.

Preparing the room 

When transitioning from crib to toddler bed you also need to make sure the room is toddler-friendly. Strap all shelves and dressers to the wall. Get rid of potentially dangerous items like chords, low sitting table lamps, and toys that you don’t want your child playing without your supervision.

Remove clutter and keep the pathway to the door clear. Keep a calm and neat atmosphere that can help set up your child for success.

Boundaries and rules  

Let your child know when they can get out of bed etc. and make sure you stick to these rules especially in the first month of implementing them. Don’t cave in- it’ll get better!

Encouragement 

Sometimes fear is something that your child will feel when it comes to sleeping alone on a bed. It is important that you don’t reinforce this fear by letting them sleep in your bed instead. You can acknowledge that fear but reassure them that everything will be all right and that their bed is a safe place.

Sleep regression 

This is a normal thing to expect with your child.  It is just like when your baby learned how to stand up or roll over in their crib. It is something new and with change seems to come disrupted sleep. Usually, this is just a phase that won’t last long so hang in there!

Don’t potty train and transition from crib to bed at the same time 

This can be overwhelming for the child to try to do things one at a time. Do potty training after your child has already been accustomed to his/her toddler bed. 

For us, we didn’t potty train until about a year after transitioning from a crib to toddler bed.

However, we did wean him off his pacifier at the same time. For us, it was easier to just knock it out at once (I’ll take one sleep regression over two!) and it worked out okay!

Transitioning from a crib to toddler bed is a big milestone in your child’s life. You can help ease the transition and make it easier for everyone by being prepared and taking the necessary steps to ensure success for you and your child.

The post How To Transition From Crib To Toddler Bed appeared first on Today Mommy.